The Finale!

Part 3: The solution

Sorry this took so long. I went to Utah for the weekend and left my laptop in Michigan. And to be honest, this was the part I wasn’t looking forward to writing, because I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go with it. But I’ll give it a shot!

I think there are a few possible solutions to this dating problem. When I first started this blog I had all sorts of drastic solutions thought out. Thoughts of Elder Oaks “Dating vs. Hanging Out” talk kept running through my head. No more home cooked meals for you! No more hanging out at the movies where we plan everything to do ranging from what time to meet, what movie to see, and where to go after. But that all seems a bit drastic. So, here are some more reasonable (possibly) solutions that I have come up with.

1. Date non-LDS guys, or guys who aren’t active in the church. Like I said before, non-LDS guys have a different reaction to me. I think they are more likely to ask a girl out, and more likely to keep dating her even if he’s not in love with her within the first five minutes. I’ve had more luck dating guys who aren’t active for the same reasons. The problem with this “solution” is that while it’s easier to get a relationship off the ground, it’s harder to keep it going for obvious reasons, especially if you’re really active in the church. Ours is a lifestyle church, and even if you’re completely fine dating someone who believes differently, it may be hard for him to accept how big a part it plays in your life. I have seen people make this work quite well though.

2. Find (or maybe start) a colony of divorced men. Maybe you have a problem dating someone who is divorced, but think of it this way: at least we know that at one point he stepped up to the plate and made a commitment, and also that someone was willing to marry him! This is my personal favorite of the solutions, but it’s not too realistic.

3. And now for the most practical solution (prepare for a bit of a let down). Realize that you are not the problem. The fact that you (I) don’t date much has nothing to do with your perceived flaws. Focus on other aspects of your life and don’t worry about it. This one is pretty hard to do, I admit. Most of us want to have families, and it’s hard to picture that ever happening when you’re not dating much. But rest assured it will happen. Just keep putting yourself out there, but don’t worry too much about it.

I once read an article that said that every single woman should have a gay male friend who made her feel great about herself. You know, a guy who would say, “Honey, if I was straight I’d snatch you up in a heartbeat!” I’d like to modify that advice to say that every single Mormon girl should find herself a good non-LDS guy friend. Someone to keep your head straight amongst all this dating madness can do wonders for your self esteem. It has actually really helped mine.

If anyone else has another idea, please leave a comment. We can all use all of the help we can get!