Come on guys!

I have to say I'm completely appalled by the turn the voting has taken. Only one vote for No - they're all a bunch of crazies!? And let's be honest, that vote was mine. I feel like you guys have some kind of death wish for me.
But you'll be happy to know that I have date #2 with a guy I met on-line Saturday. So far he seems pretty normal. (As a side note, if you're reading this and feeling offended that I didn't tell you about date #2, just know it's because I didn't want to tell you that I caved. You know who you are).
Anyway, wish me luck. Hopefully things will go well enough that by this time next week we'll have moved on to the Facebook friends stage. At which point I will have to immediately delete this entry. That happened once before with the '10 things you should never say to a girl' post. I started talking to the guy again, who had numerous entries on the 10 things never to say post, so I deleted it. Two weeks later we're on the fritz again and I'm missing my dang funny post. Maybe I should re-write that one?

Excuse me?

I've dabbled in internet dating. I'll admit it.

The screen name of my latest match? FuneralDirector27. I kid you not.

Why?

The Explainer

I don't know if any of you read 'The Explainer' on slate.com. Every week or so they answer a somewhat shallow question about a current phenomenom in the news. For example, when that kid in Arizona killed his father they had an article on the best way to interrogate a child in order to get the truth. Or when the Large Hadron Collider was turned on in Switzerland, they explained what would happen if you fall into a black hole.
Each year, at the end of the year, they post a list of questions that they just couldn't get to. Readers vote on the question that they think is most deserving of an answer, and then The Explainer writes an article answering the question. It's pretty funny to read some of the questions people come up with, and to try to think of what the answer would be. Some of the funniest ones I've posted below.

1. Could you please explain why it is that squirrels are capable of such amazing athletic feats? What is it about their brains and, to a lesser degree, their bodies that allows it? I watch them at my house and have seen some amazing things.
2. I am an 11-year-old boy and girls in my class harass me constantly and I want to file a restraining order against one of them. Is that possible?
3. If one gets a personal e-mail from a very famous or important person, such as the president, or the queen of England, or the Pope, or Paul McCartney, can that e-mail have monetary value? I guess not. It's just an electronic transmission on a screen. There's no original. There's no way to buy or sell it. Seems a shame tho.
4. Why do all of the deli guys and food cart guys call me "Boss" (well, me and everyone else)?
5. If you were on a boat, what signs do sharks give if they are hungry and will attack versus if they just want to swim around the boat?
6. I have been accused of assault in Ohio. The woman fell over a box in the hall backward, and my brother opened the door, saw her lying there, and started hitting me. I got him down and held him down. It was all over a fight concerning my niece. What do you think will happen?

So, which of these do you think it deserving of an answer? And do you have an answer for any of these questions?

Walking safely this winter

I received a very important e-mail at work today. It's regarding my safety as I walk the treacherous streets of Michigan this winter. I decided it would be very irresponsible of me to not share these tips with you, my blog readers. I hope you take these to heart:

Here are a few tips to avoid occupational falls during winter:

• Take small steps to keep your center of balance under you.
• Test potentially slick areas by tapping your foot.
• Keep your eyes focused where you are traveling.
• Avoid inclines and slippery surfaces if possible.
• Step, don't jump, from vehicles and equipment.

If you slip and know you are going to fall, reduce potential injury by taking the following actions:

• Toss the load you are carrying. Protect yourself instead of the objects being carried.
• Relax as much as possible when you begin to fall.
• Roll with the fall. Try to twist and roll backwards, rather than falling forward.
• (My personal favorite) Bend your back and head forward so you won't slam your head on the pavement as your feet shoot out from under you.

I don't know about you, but I NEVER remember to bend my back and head forward as my feet shoot out from under me. Good thing I got this e-mail. I will be much better prepared next time. Hopefully you will be as well. I would hate for one or more of my blog readers to become one of the 1,500 casualties that result from irresponsible falling each year.

You're welcome.

My Passions

Have you ever been really passionate about something, only to discuss it with another person and realize that they just don't get it? It's one of the most frustrating feelings in the world when you try over and over, to no avail, to help them see why what you are talking about matters. This happened to me today (and in my passion I may or may not have compared my plight at work to people in Nazi Germany doing nothing to stop Hitler. I'll admit that was a bit overkill). So in honor of my having very strong feelings about things that just don't matter, I've decided to compile a list of my passions:

1. Ipod's - I'll never own one. In fact, if we're friends and you own an Ipod, it's best you don't mention it. Apple, for a company who claims to be all about open source etc., you're pretty stingy with your .99 downloads. If I pay for a song I should be able to do what I want with it. Not just play it with YOUR software/hardware.

2. I will never watch the movie Titanic. Think about it, you know exactly what's going to happen, and it's depressing. I'm going to pay for that? I probably wouldn't be as passionate about this one except so many people just love that movie. Yeah, I like watching people slowly die in a freezing ocean as well. I hate the idea of this movie so much that I won't even see the new movie that is coming out with Leonardo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet.

3. Bike helmets save lives! Wear them! You know who you are.

4. Sleep. It's important. I'm not impressed if you tell me you live on 5 hours a night. I just think you're crazy.

Ok, I'm tired, and I can't think of any more. But when I think of them I will keep you posted.

Dream analysis anyone?

I had a really weird dream last night. Maybe it's too personal to post here, but I really don't care. I think everyone who reads this blog knows that at one point in my life I was married. My ex's name is Nate, and he was in my dream. So read it over, and if you like, in the comments post what you think it means.

The Dream

I had recently gotten back together with Nate. We had a child who was about 4 years old (doesn't really work with the timing of everything, but whatever). This was not just any child, but was my youngest brother when he was little (he wasn't my brother in the dream, nothing creepy here). I had a plane to catch (don't know where I was going), but I couldn't remember what time it left. I asked Nate to check, and he said it left at 2:30. I looked at my watch and it was already 1:30 and I hadn't even packed yet, so I started throwing stuff into a suitcase. I asked Nate to help me, but he said it was my own fault for not knowing what time the flight left and he just stood there watching me. Finally I was ready to go, and I told our kid that I was going away for the weekend and he would be staying with his dad (Nate). The kid says "Who's that?" Nate laughed at that, and I was really annoyed. I said "That's hilarious Nate, your kid doesn't even know who you are."

The End

So what do you think?

Just a quickie

I don't have much time, but I just wanted to direct you towards Amy's blog. The link is on the right. It's hilarious!